As you can see I get all the glamorous roles!! Nearly finished a run of 8 shows of various songs from all sorts of musicals. Initially I thought I might get a part in Cell Block Tango or All That Jazz but ended up as Mistress of the House, Aunt Ella in Oklahoma and Adelaide from Guys and Dolls when I murder Adelaides Lament! Last night I forgot my words so it was even more excruciating then usual!! It’s been hard work and I’ve had laryngitis and a chest infection throughout . …felt very sorry for myself!! Anyway after show parties are coming up tonight and tomorrow night. I drank last weekend when my girls came to see the show. so disappointed with myself because I’d Had 60 days . There is just a link with meeting up with my daughters and feeling I need to drink. It’s not even much and certainly not worth it. The girls love me being sober so I need to totally commit. I feel strong now and love my sober life even when I’m ill! Just wish I could stop the odd moment of madness.
I read an interesting article saying how not drinking let’s our real selves emerge. That’s scary at first but once you can accept it, you don’t have to hide behind the bottle . You also can cope better ironically because I find I’m so much less of a drama queen. Feeling shit passes eventually and letting it pass AF is a wonderful feeling!
So I’m off to put my greasepaint on for the last two times and I’m going to enjoy it. I’ve a feeling my am dram life may be coming to an end. Maybe I don’t need so much attention after all!